It occurred to me that I have not included many details of what is going on with R and B and their future with us. We met the new social this week. Her exact words were, "We are looking at 18mo.-2 years. This is going to be a long journey we walk together." What does that mean? R and B will be with us for a long time... with a possibility of forever. But before we jump in and get our hearts set on forever we have a long journey ahead of us. And they are always searching for family who will take them too. So at any point along this journey they could find a long lost estranged Aunt and, if she is willing and able, custody would go to her.
For now we love them as much as possible. We give them as much stability as we can. We are working on building trust and attachments. We are trying to give them a foundation that they can build their emotional, social, intellectual and physical futures on.
When we first got them their stress level was so high it is called Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. Over this month I have seen them calm down, smile more, laugh hysterically, and learn to communicate, hug, and cuddle. Love is slowly tempering the explosive anger. And trust is seeping in to calm the fear. They are far from "fixed". Many mountains still to climb. But it is really encouraging and rewarding to see such progress in the first month.
Saturday, May 10, 2014
Friday, May 9, 2014
OH SNAP!
Yes I did it. I SNAPPED. It was a stupid thing too. Spilled water. Intentionally spilled as I yelled STOP!!!!! I lost my temper and threw one of the biggest Mommy tantrums of my 7 year career over spilled water. Long story short, the stress level in the house has been a bit high. Although M and R play well, with all the added noise and chaos in the house M has developed a stutter. And O? Let's just say that he and I took a mental health day yesterday.
I have been reading a book called Simplicity Parenting . In it the author suggests when your kids get too stressed that we stop everything. Take a weekend to do nothing. Take a day off school and activities and just unwind.
After my tantrum (most of it took place in my room) it was time to take O to school. My stomach was in knots and I could tell O was wound so tight- he had tears in his eyes while putting on his shoes. He had a rough evening the night before and in the morning it just continued. It dawned on me that his negative behavior (which may or may not have been the main contributing factor to my melt down) was due to the stress he is feeling with all the changes in the dynamics of our family. And he just needed a break from his normal routine to not worry for a day. I think it helped.
It is late now, but I don't want to leave you worrying about our mental wellness over here. We are doing better after our day of nothing. I need to get more sleep, worry less, and sleep more!
While our Social worker and Case Manager were visiting this week the boys kept busy filling the window sill with cars and action figures.
I have been reading a book called Simplicity Parenting . In it the author suggests when your kids get too stressed that we stop everything. Take a weekend to do nothing. Take a day off school and activities and just unwind.
After my tantrum (most of it took place in my room) it was time to take O to school. My stomach was in knots and I could tell O was wound so tight- he had tears in his eyes while putting on his shoes. He had a rough evening the night before and in the morning it just continued. It dawned on me that his negative behavior (which may or may not have been the main contributing factor to my melt down) was due to the stress he is feeling with all the changes in the dynamics of our family. And he just needed a break from his normal routine to not worry for a day. I think it helped.
It is late now, but I don't want to leave you worrying about our mental wellness over here. We are doing better after our day of nothing. I need to get more sleep, worry less, and sleep more!
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