Who loves you?

"Mom, I'm du-un!"  M announced from the bathroom.  Which means, 'I pooped!  Come wipe my bum.'  After I helped him, I put my nose to his nose and asked him, "Do you know who loves you?"  I expected  him to say either Mommy or Daddy.  But he said something much more profound and I have been thinking about it all day, "Everyone!" he said.  
Wouldn't that be awesome if you could all say, with full confidence and total belief that everyone loves you?  As adults our world is so large.  Friends, acquaintances, co-workers, there are so many people through out our life that influence us and we have an influence on.  Surely not ALL those people love us.  But a child's world is very small.  They can name all the people that are special to them on their fingers.  And the people who are important enough to be counted on those tiny fingers have the responsibility to shape that child.  Filling them with unconditional love.  Assuring them that they can dream of someday being the president, or ending world hunger, or walking on the moon. 
I'm trying not to wax too poetic or sound like some groovy parenting book.  Like I said I have just been thinking about what M said through out my day.  What a special time childhood is.  Everybody in his world loves him.  What a safe feeling.
R and M playing together.  This is such a relief.  I was having a lot of anxiety about the relationship between these two.  2 days in, so far so good.  R seems to watch my boys and do what they do.  This was my hope.  Even an answer to my prayer. 
When I got the call about R and B, I was not so sure I wanted to take them.  Mainly because they are white.  There I said it.  I always imagined myself having foster and adopted children who were of a culturally diverse background.  Why?  Here is the answer.  I'm not proud of it, but it is my insecurity.  Because when people see me at the park or grocery store I want it to be obvious that these are not my biological kids.  Not because I want people to praise or applaud me.  But because I don't want them judging me for my child's bad behavior.  There it is.  Fear of judgment from others. 
But I decided to pray about these siblings.  And I had a thought, "We can give this little boy brothers."  And that was comforting.
R is not the gentlest big brother to B.  Their interactions with each other are territorial,  aggressive, and angry.  But he is a big teddy bear and LOVES playing with boys.  We can already see some improvement in his behavior.  I am learning so much about their personalities and I think they are feeling more settled and safe.  (the beautiful weather has helped a ton, they love playing outside)  I can now tell the difference between a regular 2 year old tantrum and an actual fear based panic attack.
So there you have it.  I've had some really emotional moments that I may share with you when it is not so late in the evening.  And some really sweet ones too.  Thank you for all the support.  It really does give me the confidence to continue what we have set out to do... CHANGE THE WORLD!!! 
 I had a lot of people who loved me when I was a child so I can still DREAM BIG!